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Happy Thanksgiving weekend to everyone except the residents of Port Charles, who haven't celebrated yet — but in their defense, everyone was way too busy with a manslaughter trial and the hunt for a remarkably mobile former coma patient. That leaves us with plenty to discuss, so let's dive in!
Why Are You Lying?
The big action last week revolved around Ava's manslaughter trial. I have to admit that although I went into this wishing the writers had dropped this thread along with all the other stories they've simply chosen to forget this year, these scenes were genuinely entertaining — due in no small part to the mighty Rick Hearst, whose return has been a real highlight during a year when this show needs all the bright spots it can get.
Ric has always been at home in a courtroom, and he was truly in his element last week. With the district attorney off on a boondoggle with his ex-wife, and one ADA forced to recuse herself because she's directly involved in the case, Ric found himself facing off against ADA Turner, who's played by Nazneen Contractor, the real-life wife of Carlo "Jenz Sidwell" Rota. Between Turner actually getting lines, camera angles displaying the backs of jurors' heads, and a long list of witnesses that included the barely-seen Doctor Navarro, it was clear that the show decided to devote whatever extra resources it could muster to making this trial feel a little bigger and higher-stakes than it had to; all in all, I thought those efforts paid off.
It's true that you can't have a soap trial without rehashing the past, especially when the alleged crime was committed months ago, so we did have to sit through a lot of flashbacks to Kristina flying out that window — but that didn't keep things from moving along at an impressively quick pace, with plenty of inessential testimony breezed through in passing. (You're a sweet kid, Gio, but no one in the audience cares what you saw that day.) The highlight of the whole thing, of course, was Ric getting Kristina on the stand and filleting her to bits — a line of questioning so aggressive, and so damaging to her case, that Alexis couldn't stop herself from jumping up, yelling at the judge, and ultimately being threatened with contempt. By the time Ric was finished guiding Ava through the moving monologue that made up her testimony, it looked like his whole reason for taking the case — to try and prove to Molly that Irene's death was a tragedy, not a crime — had fully paid off. Even though Molly spent the week pissed at Ric for subpoenaing her, when they locked eyes across the courtroom after Ava's testimony, it was clear she no longer saw Ava as criminally liable.
Again, this was all entertaining stuff. But that doesn't mean there aren't glaring issues with the story in general, starting with the fact that Kristina knows Ava didn't push her out that window. We know she remembers the accident the way it really happened, which means she's the worst kind of scumbag for lying about it in court. All soap characters do horrible things from time to time, but unless they're being written as out-and-out villains, they usually do those things for understandable (and hopefully relatable) reasons. Kristina is decidedly not being written as a villain, but her motivations for trying to railroad Ava into prison are murky at best. Is it grief over the death of the baby she was planning to try and steal from Molly and TJ? Wildly belated anger over Connie's murder and Morgan's death? And given how often she bursts into tears over the mere suggestion that Sonny might go to prison and therefore be separated from his children, why is it okay for her to try and tear Ava away from Avery?
My other issue is with the way Molly and TJ are written. This is more of a minor complaint, but those two should really have been the center of the Irene story; instead, they're continually written as props for whatever point of view seems likely to generate the greatest amount of drama. If the writers want to make us think Ava could be convicted, then Molly and TJ think Ava's the worst; if the writers want to make us think Molly and TJ might break up, then they're on opposite sides of the fence where Ava's concerned. So on and so forth. It's all very sloppy, and after this trial is over, the writers are going to have to face some tough questions in terms of who Kristina even is anymore, and what long-term purpose — if any — she serves. For the moment, though? Good stuff. Rick Hearst has been in his glory during this stint, and I hope they can figure out a way to keep it going.
She's Awake
We finally returned to Turning Woods last week, where we saw Lulu massaging her legs in bed while a conveniently located Cyrus stood in the hall outside her door, talking to a doctor about having her transferred to a clinic in South Carolina. How in the world Cyrus even has the appearance of holding this sort of authority over Lulu's care is a mystery — the shabby excuse for a lot of the hubbub surrounding last week's Lulu-related action was that Laura was busy dealing with some sort of city emergency, but there had better be more to this story.
Anyway, Lulu quickly decided she wasn't interested in moving south, so she got herself out of bed, pulled a fire alarm, and scooted out of the building (after stealing some conveniently located clothing and shoes from an unlocked file cabinet in the lobby, of course). After getting dressed in the woods, she ended up in that one spot where every car accident in Port Charles occurs, where she was immediately caught in a car's headlights.
The driver of that car turned out to be Cody, who somehow failed to recognize her despite the fact that it was only a few weeks ago that he spent most of an episode sitting at her bedside. She made up a story about being abandoned by her boyfriend, they argued about lollipop flavors, and he dropped her off down the street from her old house, where she used the spare key to let herself in and was immediately confronted by James, who demanded to know who she was.
During the course of Lulu and Cody's meet-cute conversation, it was casually established that she thought she'd only been in the hospital for a few days, so it very much stood to reason that Lulu had every reason to think she'd find her house exactly as she left it, and Alexa Havins did a good job of playing Lulu's slowly dawning realization that she had to have been out longer than she initially believed. Once James started yelling for his mother, Lulu hightailed it out, leading to some funny scenes between James and a disbelieving Maxie. (The show has some talented younger players, and Gary James Fuller is one of the best.) Their confusion was cleared up when Spinelli came home and told Maxie he'd installed a security camera outside their front door; unfortunately, the angle couldn't capture Lulu's hood-shrouded face, so they still don't have any idea who was in their living room.
Fortunately for Lucky, who spent most of the week being a dick to people while searching for Lulu, the cameras at Turning Woods were working just fine when his sister flew the coop. After demanding access to their security footage, he watched Lulu escape, then turned to Elizabeth and pointed out the obvious: "She's awake."
Before making that brilliant observation, the greasiest Spencer dragged Elizabeth to the Port Charles Grill, where he confronted Cyrus and insisted that not only was he not authorized to make any decisions regarding Lulu's care, but he also wasn't welcome as a visitor. Cyrus, god bless him, immediately fired back, advising Lucky to try spending at least a month in the same ZIP code as his son before trying to climb up on any kind of high horse where family is concerned. (It was as delightful to watch as it is to read, and Rebecca Herbst's reaction faces remain the best in the business.)
Lulu, meanwhile, walked over to the Quartermaine mansion, where she had zero problems getting onto the grounds — where she found Gio practicing "The Star-Spangled Banner" on the dock — or letting herself into the house, where she spent a few moments puttering around before coming face to face with Rocco. While that was going on, James was pointing at a picture of Lulu in a family photo album and telling Maxie and Spinelli that she was the woman who barged into their living room. Not a bad cliffhanger, even if the steps it took to get there were inexcusably stupid.
As others have noted, there is no world in which Lulu would just be chilling in her bed, not attached to any machines, and therefore able to regain consciousness and massage her legs back into walking shape without someone noticing a change in her condition. Cody has always been a doofus, but there's also no way he wouldn't recognize her after spending a day pouring his guts out to her comatose body. It's also late November in upstate New York, so the idea that she'd just be walking around town in scrubs and a hoodie — especially after dark — is hard to believe. And Laura's absence thus far has been a glaring misstep in a storyline that really can't afford many more of them.
Like the Ava trial, it's all rather sloppy — but also like the Ava trial, there are still plenty of reasons to watch if you can get past the dumb stuff. Getting James involved was a fun move, for example, and given that I don't care whether Dante and Lulu ever get back together, I also wasn't opposed to the blatant chem test between her and Cody. It was even funny to watch poor, stupid Gio try to rub his brain cells together and figure out why some random woman was lurking near the Quartermaine boathouse, or whether he should do anything about it. Now I'm just hoping we don't end up having to watch Lulu hide in the boathouse for weeks while Rocco sneaks her food. The show kept Lulu's return in a holding pattern for an extremely long time; now that she's awake again, her presence should be big news around town rather than a secret.
That's it for the big stuff. Now for your bullets!
- Michael tricked Drew into not only lying about having sex with Willow, but admitting he never intended to hire Curtis as long-term CEO of Aurora — and then he played the recording of their conversation for Curtis, who agreed to team up with him
- Lucky incorrectly believes he was a good police detective
- Sasha is pregnant with Michael's baby
- Lois made a comment about wanting her grandCHILDREN to be happy
- Chase and a fully clothed Brook Lynn scampered upstairs to try and make a baby; later, as they snuggled in what passes for their afterglow, Chase said something about being happy that they'd both be having a child for the first time, which left Brook Lynn looking rattled
- Natalia lied under oath and took the blame for her car accident with Kristina
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