When I was a kid, my mother was an avid ABC daytime viewer, which is what opened my gateway into the soaps. I remember being aware of them in the late ‘70s, but my true fascination started to develop during the peak “love in the afternoon” era in the early-to-mid ‘80s — Greg and Jenny, Herb and Dorian, Luke and Laura. Each of those shows had their own unique character, and I enjoyed them all in different ways, but by the mid-‘80s, General Hospital was probably my consistent favorite, and it had everything to do with the spy-driven, action-heavy stories that the show did better than anybody else. And the reason for that had a whole hell of a lot to do with Robert Xavier Scorpio.
Scorpio was admittedly modeled after any number of fictional spies, but Tristan Rogers brought him to life so vividly that he quickly became his own unique character — dashing, sharp-witted, and lethal if you came across him under the wrong set of circumstances. More than anything, he was a guy with an unerring moral compass; unlike the majority of soap characters, when he passed judgment on someone for breaking the law or screwing someone over, he had the standing to do so. But as rigid as he was about right and wrong, he was also compassionate enough to understand people’s reasons for doing the wrong thing. Just a classic good guy, in other words, elevated immeasurably by the fact that he was played by an actor who was a hell of a lot more than an exotic accent and a roguish smile. Rogers could hold his own in scenes with anyone, and rarely chewed the scenery along the way.
As the age of antiheroes took its toll on GH, Robert started to lose some of his luster, at least as far as the powers that be were concerned. I also tend to think Rogers’ outspoken nature — and his periodic departures for greener pastures that never really materialized — probably didn’t win him many friends at the network, but more than anything, Robert and his peers on the show were increasingly seen as relics as the ‘90s wore on. By the time GH got around to undoing his and Anna’s deaths, it was basically a completely different show, and they never really knew what to do with him. I still remember the satisfaction of watching Robert tell Sonny he didn’t deserve a dose of the antidote to the monkey virus… and the irritation of watching a bunch of other characters tell him he was wrong. Scorpio had his share of 21st century adventures, but they weren’t the same, and they rarely ended with him catching the bad guy.
Still, it was never less than a joy to see him in Port Charles. Over the last couple of years, as Rogers’ health visibly diminished, it became painfully clear that neither he nor Scorpio were immortal, which only made me savor his occasional appearances more. When Sasha showed up on his doorstep with Daisy a few weeks ago, I assumed that would be the last we’d see of Scorpio, and sadly, that turned out to be the case.
Tristan Rogers was a brilliant actor who probably could have done any number of other things if he hadn’t been so damn great at playing Scorpio that the role ended up following him around for the majority of his career. I’m sure that irritated him at some points, particularly during the decade and change that he was off GH and only finding sporadic parts, but over the last 20 years or so, he really seemed to enjoy any opportunity to talk about soaps — what they were, what they’ve become, and all the various things he thought they needed to do in order to survive. On one hand, I really wish I’d had the opportunity to interview him and get some of those thoughts in person; on the other hand, I might have just spent an hour telling him what a treasure he was and fanboying over Scorpio’s greatest hits.
I guess what I’m trying to say with all this rambling is that even though I knew this day was coming, it’s still really sad to see Tristan go, and to bid farewell to one more actor who helped form General Hospital’s firmament during the period that I guess I’ll always consider the show’s golden years. He was truly one of a kind, and he’ll be missed.
Welcome to Croatia, Mr. Moore
God, this WSB storyline is a mess. While I’m talking about the glory days of the Bureau and how much fun it was to watch Scorpio do his thing, I guess this is an appropriate time to point out that Robert, Sean, Anna, and Frisco never would have subjected the audience to the type of yawn-inducing nonsense that’s happening at the Five Poppies (and beyond) right now.
Last week started with Brennan beginning his slow crawl toward coming clean with Carly. Saying he “hadn’t been completely honest” with her in the past, he admitted that the WSB opened its field office in Port Charles because they had identified a specific threat — and that after however many months he’s spent in town, he’s confirmed that the threat is a (groan) clear and present danger. This was all awesome as far as Carly was concerned; as long as he could promise to be honest with her about the things he can be honest about, she said she was willing to live with a lack of information.
Anna, meanwhile, continued poking the bear, teasing Brennan by pretending to almost tell Carly about him recruiting Joss for the Bureau. She didn’t actually do it, but she did tell Jason everything, and urged him to get his ass to the Five Poppies ASAP. Where before she’d believed he needed to honor Britt’s wishes by allowing her to remain “dead,” she had instead come to the conclusion that Britt might be an unwilling participant in whatever scheme is unfolding at the resort.
Anna’s conversation with Jason was five times more interesting than anything that actually happened at the Five Poppies last week. After sweeping their room for bugs, Joss and Vaughn prepared for bed, which entailed him abruptly taking his shirt off and her padding into the room in a ridiculous pink nightie, followed by a particularly stilted variation on the “uh, are we sharing the bed” conversation that not-quite couples have been having onscreen since the ‘30s. Most of the time, it’s an indication that something is brewing, but there couldn't be less chemistry between these characters if they were full-blooded siblings.
It doesn’t help that none of the things they’re doing are the slightest bit exciting, or even make sense. After bringing Joss breakfast in bed the next morning and kissing her to keep up appearances or whatever, Vaughn promptly headed out to the patio, where he just so happened to plunk down next to Britt, rip off his shirt again, and start shamelessly flirting with her. He later said he was doing it to try and gain information from one of the hotel’s long-term residents, but how does that jibe with all the crap these ninnies have been blabbering about convincing everyone around them that they’re really, truly in love? And shouldn’t partners brief each other on the stuff they plan to do while they’re working a case? If Vaughn had bothered to tell Joss what he was thinking, then she might not have complained to Pascal about her “husband” groping another guest.
Of course, the real shock for Joss was seeing who Vaughn was chatting up. When they got back to their room, she told him all about Britt and how they’re connected — and after doing some research into Britt and her family, Vaughn concluded that Joss was “scrubbed from the mission” and needed to go home because their cover would be blown the second Britt laid eyes on her.
What neither of them knew was that in Port Charles, Brennan had a testy meeting with Colette — remember her? — who returned from a mission in Peru just in time to lecture him about the perils of sending an inexperienced, barely trained agent into the field. After Brennan reminded her that she works for him, she stalked off and called Pascal to warn him that the Five Poppies had been breached by the Bureau, and gave him Joss and Vaughn’s fake identities.
This all came to a head when, after being told to go home, Joss stomped off to return the tablet she’d stolen from housekeeping (its “more detailed map” would help them find the “dead zone” that switched off their tracker, or something). When she was gone, an assassin showed up pretending to be room service, but before he could aim his gun, Vaughn saw what was happening and attacked him. He’s evidently a very poor hand-to-hand combatant, because by the time Joss returned, the other guy was choking Vaughn from behind, but not to worry — she grabbed her gun, closed one eye to ensure she’d have tippy-top aim when firing on a target three feet away, and took her shot.
Do we know who she hit? Do we care? Nope and nope. Instead of showing us the aftermath of the shot, we saw Jason — aka “John Moore” — arriving at the Five Poppies and being greeted by Pascal, just as Britt wandered back out onto the patio. They locked eyes. There’s your Friday cliffhanger, soap fans.
Drewche Bagged
Most of the other stuff that went down last week can be dealt with using bullet points, but I do feel like we need to spend some actual time talking about Drew’s latest moves. Alexis spent the early part of the week seeking legal advice from Molly and Marco, both of whom served as sounding boards while she entertained the idea of suing Drew for custody of Scout. While they all concluded that Drew has no shortage of issues that would damage his standing in court, they also acknowledged that there’s no getting around the fact that he’s Scout’s sole remaining parent, and wresting her away from him would be far easier said than done.
Those conversations turned out to be moot, however, because when Danny went to visit Scout at Lila’s Kids, she begged him to take her to the Quartermaine mansion so she could see her family, so he plopped her on his bike and pedaled away. This proved to be a big surprise for Jason, who quickly phoned Alexis and asked her to come over. After she got there, she and Jason agreed that Scout needed to get home, but Scout begged them not to call Drew, saying she always asks if she can visit her family, and he always finds a reason not to make it happen.
While Jason, Alexis, and Danny contemplated their next move, Drew barged in with Chase in tow, demanding that Chase arrest Danny for kidnapping. This was so ridiculous that not even the GH writers were willing to entertain the idea of it actually happening; instead, Chase told Drew he would be doing no such thing, and just gave Danny a warning instead. While all that was going on, Alexis tried talking some sense into Drew, only for him to tell her that he was moving to DC, taking Scout, and preventing her from having any contact with people who undermine him — namely, everyone on that side of the family, including Alexis, Kristina, and Molly. He later told Molly the same thing.
But pissing off Davis women wasn’t the only item Drew had on his dance card last week. He also leaped at the opportunity to mess with Michael. When Michael and Wiley came by the Metro Court restaurant so Wiley could have an ice cream sundae, Drew waited until Michael left the table to walk over, sit across from Wiley, and tell him that his mother wishes she could see him, but his father isn’t letting it happen. Tracy hurriedly pulled Wiley back to the pool so Drew and Michael could have it out, and they did — when Drew accused Michael of lying to Wiley about Willow, Michael responded by decking Drew in the face.
I still think Drew is a poor excuse for a villain because his motivations for being such a dick have never really been made clear, but he’s definitely crafty. After taking a punch from his nephew, he oozed over to Sonny’s house, where he pounded on the door and yelled “It’s your congressman” until Sonny opened up, at which point he told him he’d need to do Drew some favors in order to keep Michael from being arrested for assault. The twist there, I guess, is that ADA Turner was over at the time (gross), and heard the whole thing while she was hiding so Drew wouldn’t see her (also gross).
There’s been a lot of speculation about the show building to a Drew murder mystery, and this series of events won’t do anything to quell that. We’ve seen plenty of times what Alexis is capable of when she’s pushed to her limit, Sonny kills people for fun, and Michael went to prison for death by baseball bat, so there’s no shortage of potential for a whodunit. As I’ve said before, this isn’t something I want to see — we need more Qs, not murdered ones — so I’m hoping what we’re seeing is just a bunch of red herrings. A good soap needs at least one character you love to hate, and we definitely have one with Drew. I miss the Billy Miller version as much as anyone, but at least this smarmy creep is more narratively useful than he was when he volunteered to go to prison for Carly.
Okay, I think that’ll do it. Time to let the bullets fly!
- Tracy told Cody he's a better man than he thinks he is — and definitely better than romancing Ava for money
- Ava told Nina that she's broken up with Ric, but Ric doesn't know it yet
- Alexis found Molly working on her novel at the coffee shop, the table covered with books about horses, yet still believed her when Molly said she was working on a case
- Cooler heads prevailed in the fight between Obrecht, Dante, and Lulu… at least temporarily
- Anna told Gio and Emma that Outback needs to find a new home, and Rocco asked Obrecht if she'd do it; she told him she'd like to, but the Metro Court doesn't allow pets
- As soon as Rocco told Lulu about this, she immediately agreed that they could keep Outback
- Emma and Anna had a very frank conversation about Emma's plans to take down Invisible Dalton, and her reasons for doing so
- The writers must really, truly hate Josh Swickard
- Lucas let Willow have it regarding her big blind spot for Drew; in response, she slapped him
- Lulu whined and cajoled Carly until she agreed to invent a reason to evict Obrecht from the Metro Court, which ended with Carly making up an obvious lie about toxic mold and comping Obrecht a suite at the Cosmo
- Sidwell is clearly concerned about Maxie's reluctance to keep a lid on the evidence of Sonny's dirty investment in Deception
- James and Donna remain delightful
- Marco warned Sidwell that he needs to play his bribery card against Sonny soon, because Willow's heightened emotional state might prevent a judge from giving her custody anyway
- Brook Lynn wore a lovely funeral shroud to the Metro Court pool
- Brooding Gio is getting old fast
- Anna and Curtis visited Jordan's new place, and Anna fretted that Jordan's good life working for Sidwell will be hard to walk away from
- The Curtis/Portia/Jordan/Isaiah mess continued to develop, and grew more insulting and tiresome by the minute
- Stella urged Trina to give Kai another chance, which made it slightly less upsetting when she was confronted by fraud investigators at GH
- Drew told Kai he wants him to be his "eyes and ears in Port Charles" after he moves to DC
- Laura and Boyle had a painfully dull argument about her support for a library expansion
- But it was still better than Laura flat out telling Sonny that Port Charles is better off with him in power
- Dante convinced Brook Lynn that they should work together to repair their relationship with Gio
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