In my enthusiastic writeup of the Spoon Island shootout, I applauded the way General Hospital had lined up a number of future stories from the fallout of the cold fusion storyline. Those storylines are still there, but in the weeks since Cullum's death, GH has approached them the same way the show has worked its way toward new stories far too often in recent years — treading gingerly, the same way you'd approach a sleeping baby or a hornet's nest. There are things happening on the show right now, and some of them seem promising; that said, this hesitant approach has a tendency to lead to dull and purposeless stretches, and for the most part, that's what we saw last week.
Even a drifting GH has its rewards, however, and last week brought us some things worth celebrating, including a promising recast and a Friday that actually ended with a cliffhanger. Let's dive in!
Australia Giveth, Australia Taketh Away
For some time, we've wondered how GH planned to deal with Kirsten Storms' limited availability, and when she announced via social media that she had no intention of returning to California anytime soon, it really looked like the writing was on the wall. Few could have guessed, however, how minimal and abrupt that writing would be. Rather than recasting the role of Maxie, as they've done more than once in the past, the showrunners decided to simply sweep her — and Spinelli, Georgie, James, and Bailey Lu — off the canvas completely.
Apparently, while they were off vacationing at the Grand Canyon, Spinelli was offered an incredible job in Australia. I guess they needed him to start immediately, because poof, just like that, the whole family's gone. Maxie divested her Deception shares, selling them to Michael, and after reconciling with Cody over phone footage of a foal (don't ask), James hit the road to join his family offscreen for the foreseeable future. Bye!
This seems to be a deeply unpopular move, and I agree with the negative reactions I've seen. It's been fairly obvious for several years that Storms might not be long for the role, and as much as she's meant to GH during her lengthy tenure, Maxie means more; while she may not be a core character in terms of consistently driving story, she's absolutely a pillar of Port Charles, and her presence anchors a beloved family that's been whittled away by poor decisions and indifference over the last couple of decades. Whisking her off to Australia is easier than a casting search, but again, they've had plenty of time to develop a contingency plan. Wiping out the bulk of the Jones/Scorpio clan, even if it isn't permanent, feels awfully shortsighted to me.
In the short term, I guess we might be able to look forward to the fallout at Deception, where Tracy and Lucy were none too thrilled to learn of the latest interloper in their midst. Brook Lynn sided with Michael, which somehow meant the ayes had it even though Brook Lynn just gave half of her shares to Lucy, so… I don't know. I like Rory Gibson's Michael? He's barely on these days? Maybe throwing him in the middle of Deception business will lead to something fun?
He's a Brick and We're Drowning Slowly
When I said I was looking forward to how much it'd piss people off to know Carly was dating Valentin, I wasn't thinking about the potential drawbacks — primarily the threat of having to watch Sonny grumble and growl about how their relationship is a threat to DAHNAAAA (ahem, sorry, Donna). Hypocritical as ever, the dyed don spent last week trying to dig up dirt on Valentin, all in the name of keeping his family safe from the danger that follows a man who has a lot of enemies, and hardly anybody called him out on the fact that he's every bit as dangerous as the guy he's whining about.
Sonny's hypocrisy is galling, as is the show's desperate need to prop him up at every turn, but those are both minor annoyances compared to Brick. Fast-forwardable on a good day, Brick lingered, fartlike, over Port Charles throughout the early part of the week, including an almost physically painful series of scenes that found him trying to intimidate Valentin into leaving town. (It didn't work, but Brick still got the last word by sinking a half-court shot while walking away with his back turned. If you haven't watched, don't.)
Before blessedly leaving town again, Brick stopped by Carly's, where he lived up to his word to Sonny. Handing Carly a thumb drive, he told her that if she should ever feel the need to end things with Valentin, the information on the drive would… uh, force him to accept the breakup, I guess? I don't really understand that part of the equation, but the real point is that Brick now has Carly wondering what the hell is on that drive, which she is now keeping in a kitchen drawer. As one does.
This is all quite lame. There isn't a person alive in the world of GH who isn't aware that Valentin Cassadine has done some bad things, and for anybody who'd get involved with him, that's got to be part of the appeal. Carly's certainly personally aware of his lethal capabilities, and she's also aware that Valentin meddled with Sonny's bipolar medication. Unless this thumb drive contains footage of Valentin murdering Bobbie and/or Luke, it's awfully hard to imagine it'd be enough to pry Carly away from him. Of course, that doesn't really matter; the drive is really just a MacGuffin meant to plant the seeds for a breakup when the writers tire of these two.
In the meantime, our recently outed lovebirds are still very much a team, and they've united to help Valentin leverage his frozen assets in exchange for another MacGuffin. Can you say "black box"? Can you say it 1100 times, once for every time we heard it last week? Good! I knew you could.
Has Anyone Seen My Black Box?
At the risk of overstating the obvious, I just want to take a few words to point out that when a politician is caught misappropriating funds, it generally happens due to solid investigative work — as well as the fact that, you know, financial transactions tend to leave a trail. Proof of this type of misdeed, in other words, is typically reproducible, and not the type of thing you need to panic about if a copy goes missing. On the other hand, "I'll just get another copy" isn't as much fun as "Oh god, we're out of time," so last week was Black Box Week on GH, with Brennan, Nina, and Willow fretting over Brennan's missing WSB safe while Carly and Valentin took their sweet time deciding where, when, and how to use it to their advantage.
None of this was terribly exciting. More than anything, it reeked of the type of "We'll do this! And then this! And then how about some of this" energy that GH has brought to bear on far too many storylines in recent years. Nina wakes up in Brennan's Metro Court bed the morning after they have sex! They get into a silly morning-after argument — but then he suavely apologizes! Carly and Valentin talk about how Brennan might KILL HIM for dangling the black box as a trade for his funds! Willow and Nina hiss and fret about Drew's ever-increasing mobility! Brennan tells Willow they've hit a dead end in their search, and she needs to grab her kids and get the hell out of town on the WSB jet he's thoughtfully provided!
Hooey, all of it. And yet by the final moments of Friday's episode, it actually ended up feeling purposeful, because all that hooey pushed the storyline's central characters into impactful — or at least momentarily explosive — places on the board.
Led to believe her only choice is to flee before she could be exposed by Drew, Willow called Nina and offered her the chance to go on the run with her, Wiley, and Amelia aboard Brennan's WSB jet — but just as she was about to leave her office, she was stopped by Chase, who'd been sent by Dante to bring her in for questioning thanks to Ezra, who'd alleged a connection between Willow and Sidwell during the info dump he exchanged for his immunity deal.
Moments after making his call to Willow, Brennan found himself face to face with Valentin, who strolled into his office and casually announced that he'd come into possession of a certain black box, and wanted to trade it.
Nina, twice as freaked out as usual following Willow's phone call, started hatching plans outside the Quartermaine boathouse, where she and Drew were left alone on the dock after Scout's practice swim for an upcoming fundraiser. Drew, knowing the walls have been closing in on his captors for weeks, decided to play a card by letting Nina know he can speak, snarkily asking her if she got some bad news during her phone call. "Bad news for me," Nina admitted while fiddling with the brakes on his wheelchair. "Worse for you."
Splash! Into the lake went Drew. Sob! Nina, who is never allowed to enjoy anything, was immediately wracked with guilt. Cue closing credits!
Now, we all know Gio will come to Drew's rescue next week, but still, that's a nicely sudsy way to end a Friday, and the fun of it all outweighed the resounding lack of interest I felt during the days leading up to it. We're about to lose the delightful comic relief of Chair Drew, as well as the months of blissful silence we've enjoyed since he was locked in, so at least this chapter ended with a suitably big splash.
Whatever happens next week as a result of Drew's surprise swim, I think we can feel good about the new Scout. Kayden Brenna Tokarski is an appealing performer whose introductory scenes opposite Jane Elliot proved she's ready to hit the ground running, and I was also happy to see Scout and Danny plead their case to Drew, reminding him that they're always going to be brother and sister. The most interesting aspect of all, IMO, was seeing Jason back in the mix for all this, hesitantly acknowledging that it's time to try starting a new chapter and setting aside his beef with Drew. (Not that Drew deserves the benefit of anyone's doubt, of course, but any suggestion of change with Jason always makes me happy.)
Less appealing? The hints of flirtation between Scout and Rocco. I hope we were all misinterpreting what appeared to be happening between these two, because there's no sane world in which they ever regard one another as anything but siblings. Having Charlotte and Danny kiss was bad enough! Do not want.
Anna, Are You Okay? Are You Okay, Anna?
The writers seem particularly afraid to get anything going where Anna's post-kidnapping storyline is concerned. She's been back for a few weeks now, and we still don't have much to go on regarding her mental state and/or whatever she's up to. She started out last week saying she'd be shadowing Dante for a bit before returning to the commissioner's seat, but by the end of the week, she was in the office holding meetings — and throughout, she remained solely focused on digging through any and all evidence related to the cold fusion project.
This led to a bit of a scare for Laura and Dante, albeit one that was resolved in puzzlingly fast fashion. Anna brought Brennan in to ask him where the evidence related to Cullum's shooting on the pier went, and while he was willing to tell her the WSB didn't take it, he stopped short of filling her in on the identity of the shooter, only warning her that if she continued to push it, she'd only ruin the life of someone who was just trying to protect people.
When Laura realized what Anna was searching for, she warned Dante that Anna's quest could be a problem for Rocco, so he went straight to Anna's office and told her the evidence she was looking for had been permanently lost. Reading between the lines, she told him that was all she needed to know — and when Dante left her office, she had a quick talk with the ham-scented ghost of Peter August, who agreed that the shooter had to be Rocco, and reminded her that her focus needed to be on Britt and Cassius, who are just like their father.
While I'm fairly tired of Faison-related stories, I wouldn't be opposed to one built around a fed-up Anna resolving to methodically dismantle whatever network he left behind. It wouldn't be a bad way of continuing to squeeze story out of a villain who's been dead for years, and Anna's pursuit of justice would inevitably send multiple figures scurrying out of the shadows, some of whom could turn out to be great antagonists for years to come. This shit, though? No thanks. We've seen Anna hounded and haunted for way too long, and after over 40 years, she's undoubtedly nearing the end of her arc as someone who can kick ass and take names in the field. I'd really much rather see her end this chapter of her story as a character who's in control of her own destiny.
The One to Watch
A few words are unfortunately necessary to acknowledge what the writers have brewing for Trina, which appears to be an old-fashioned stalker storyline to go along with the insta-recording career that's just opened up for her and Gio. While openly admitting that this is all preferable to months on end of Trina wondering when Joss will get home and/or gazing lovingly at her oaf of a boyfriend, I can't say I'm the slightest bit excited about any of what I've seen so far… although there might be a glimmer of potential hiding in here.
Trina and Gio signed a contract with some guy named Simon, who initially wanted to change the deal and sign them as solo acts, but agreed to stick with the original plan when they threatened to walk. After the boardroom cleared out, Simon called someone to tell them he'd done the deal, and although they'd be recording as a duo, Trina was "the one to watch." (Given that Trina sings adult contemporary ballads and Gio has shown no sign of being anything more than a serviceable rhythm guitarist, this is the one part of the story that actually makes sense.)
When Trina went to the cafe to tell Kai the good news, she found him with his only friend, Quinn, who hasn't been seen since briefly beefing with Trina many moons ago. Turns out he and Kai haven't spoken in a really long time, which might explain why their reunion was so painfully stilted; both actors looked and sounded like they were seeing their lines for the first time as they were saying them. That isn't what we were supposed to be paying attention to, though — we were supposed to be keyed in on the way Quinn glared at Kai and Trina while they played kissyface in the cafe, all while we heard Simon talk about Trina, and the camera panned across a bulletin board covered with pictures of her.
The obvious implication is that Simon and/or Quinn have ignoble intentions where Trina's concerned, up to and including possibly stalking her. I'd love to believe, though, that the writers are faking us out here. Quinn matters even less than Kai, which is saying an awful lot, and we've already endured the endless storyline about Linc the sex pest, so I want to give the show the benefit of the doubt and imagine something more interesting is waiting around the bend. My preferred version of events would be if the "stalker" turns out to be Spencer, but I really have no idea. For now, the best I can say is that this is still better than forcing Josh Swickard to wear leather pants and get on stage at the Savoy. Not by a mile, but better nonetheless.
That'll do it for the major events from last week. For the rest, your bullets!
- Laura and Brook Lynn participated in the Port Charles Frilly Victorian Collar Show
- Molly canceled her book tour in order to take the Sidwell case
- Willow asked Chase to go on a one-day trip to DC with her, and offered to keep her distance from him when he declined
- Tracy not-so-subtly threatened Willow with a riding crop
- Lulu told Valentin she was ready to let Charlotte decide who she lives with, but demanded that he find a house of his own
- Carly was shocked and appalled to learn that Jason had the audacity to return to town without telling her
- Charlotte has a thing for Gio, and Emma knows it
- Britt got her job back after being given the green light by Elizabeth and freshly anointed hospital administrator Stella, who were given this authority by the board because showing all of its members would be too expensive
- Jordan and Michael talked about his skincare adventures in Baden Baden
- Curtis and Portia named the baby Desmond Robinson Ashford
- Anna told Chase that his path back to being a detective begins with bringing her evidence of Cassius and Britt's conspiracy with Cullum
- Britt spent most of the week whining about having to work weekends and serve as the GH softball team's equipment manager, but her face lit up when she saw Jason step out of an elevator
- Jason and Rocco had a genuinely interesting conversation that included Jason absolving Rocco of any guilt over his imprisonment, and some words of wisdom about finding a way to put down the things you can't forget
Comments
Post a Comment