If it felt like the light in the sky got a little dimmer while you were watching General Hospital last week, not to worry — that's just because we're under an umbrella now. While we weren't looking, the writers spent the last little while sneakily raising it, and during last week's episode, as a painkiller-addled Sidwell unburdened his soul to Lulu, we heard the unmistakable and oh-so-satisfying sound of that umbrella clicking into place. With Willow's misdeeds splashed all over the pages of the Invader, a whole bunch of characters are now tied together by the threads of a story that suddenly looks a lot more well-planned than it did before.
Of course, this doesn't mean that what we're seeing now really is the result of proper prior planning, and it also doesn't mean the weeks of wheel-spinning we've endured since the end of the Spoon Island shootout were any less of a waste of time. But it does mean the canvas is well-positioned to allow all sorts of things to happen — and depending on what the writers decide to do next, we could be looking at the setups for all sorts of storylines to come.
They Are Definitely Giving Me Enough Drugs to Talk to You
The act of writing is notoriously difficult to dramatize. It's a solitary activity, one that's often filled with stops and starts, and one that also develops pretty much completely internally. This is why it can often work out well when a show decides to turn a character like Lulu into a "reporter" — the audience doesn't really want to see the work being done, so it's easier to strike the type of bargain that ends with the writers saying "We're going to use this character as a magic storyline-advancing device" and the viewers saying "We're fine with that."
This is what we saw last week. In the blink of an eye, Lulu not only swiped Felicia's hospital ID and used it to sneak into Sidwell's room for an interview, she also wrote a front-page article detailing his confessions and allegations — and then the Invader immediately approved that article for publication, skipping over the weeks if not months of legal review and opportunities for comment or rebuttal that would have to take place in any sane universe.
All of the developments I just outlined are ridiculous, but they're ridiculous in a classically soapy way, which is to say they're relatively easy to accept in exchange for the advancement of a storyline. While I think it would have been a lot better for the character of Lulu if we'd been able to see her actually doing her job, I'm not mad about the writers giving her something to do besides kvetch and yell about her kids. What I'm actively happy about, though, is the way Lulu's bombshell scoop has sent various characters rolling around the canvas, setting up all sorts of unpredictable consequences along the way. Let's break it down:
Sidwell: Hopped up on pain meds when Lulu made her way into his room, Sidwell proved an unwisely chatty interview subject, eagerly tattling on Willow for falsifying Drew's stroke symptoms and keeping him trapped for months in his own mute and paralyzed body. Of course, in blowing up Willow's spot, Sidwell also implicated himself in a litany of crimes, presumably further complicating his already extremely tenuous efforts to have his conviction appealed. So… was he really too high to know what he was saying when Lulu interviewed him? Or is this all just part of his latest dastardly plan? I can't decide what I think — or which answer would lead to more drama.
Britt: Suddenly Willow's bestie for reasons that help the show even if they happened extremely abruptly, Britt rushed to Willow's side as soon as she saw the news — and then made her way to Sidwell's room, where she offered him some off-screen advice regarding how to improve his situation after telling the world he'd supplied Willow with the WSB-owned paralytic she used to keep Drew locked in. Why does Britt want to help Sidwell? Only because undermining his story will also help Willow. This is vintage enemy-of-my-enemy soap stuff, elevated further because current circumstances allow Britt and Sidwell to be openly snarky with each other, which plays solidly to the strengths of both performers.
Willow: Since morphing from dishwater-dull saint into femme fatale, Willow has found herself in a series of dramatic situations — yet at pretty much every step, the writing has neglected to increase or even acknowledge her interiority, What I mean by this is that even though she's been an effective catalyst for all sorts of fun stuff, her feelings and motivations have all too often remained a near-total mystery. That's playing out right now vis a vis Willow's plans and/or feelings for Chase — we know she's freaked out about having the truth about her dealings with Drew on the front page, but we don't know why she's even allowing him to make an argument in favor of fighting back against Lulu's story.
On one hand, it definitely seems like it'd be extremely easy for Willow to go on the offensive. Lulu's story was rushed to press, and many if not most of its claims would be difficult if not impossible to prove. On the other hand, inviting increased scrutiny into those claims could lead to all sorts of unintended consequences and/or outcomes, including her exposure as Drew's shooter and prolonged tormentor. At this point, we don't really know what Willow wants from Chase; aside from a single sauna-set fantasy that seemed to take her totally by surprise, we don't even know how she feels about him.
To be clear, this isn't the most serious of complaints. Willow can still be an effective catalyst even if she's an emotional cipher. I do think she'd be more effective if we had a clearer idea of what she wanted, and I don't understand the show's ongoing enthusiasm for the idea of this character as an emotional blank slate, but this isn't going to prevent anything from moving forward. It just feels like a strange choice, especially since it's been going on for years.
Drew: We've known all along that Drew fully intends to make Willow pay for what she did to him, but since coming out of his "coma," he's been much more focused on hurting Sonny. This has been inexplicable and annoying, so I'm very happy to see Drew forced to put his vendetta against his ex-wife back on the front burner. It's too early to see what will come of this, if anything — at this point, all we've seen is Drew and Ava arguing over how to handle the situation — but I still regard it as a positive development. Granted, this is because I have zero interest in seeing Drew and/or Ava go after Sonny, and in comparison, the idea of Drew settling scores against Willow is very appealing, but still.
Elizabeth and Lucas: Drew's first inclination is to stay silent about the allegations in Lulu's article. He doesn't want to give the WSB any excuse to dig deeper into what happened to him, because that could lead to an expanded investigation into Brennan's disappearance. What he doesn't know is that it may not even matter what he does, because Elizabeth and Lucas have already told Lulu about the fishy connection between Drew and Brennan both suffering "strokes" at the same house just a few months apart. It's kind of nuts that we haven't seen Trina and Kai reacting to the publication of Lulu's story, but in the meantime, I'm awfully glad to know that the writers haven't forgotten about Elizabeth and Lucas' suspicions from the start of Drew's ordeal. Although I doubt they'll have a great deal to do with whatever happens next, I'm still in favor of their involvement here.
Lulu: As I said, it's nice to see her doing anything other than harassing her children and/or harassing people about things having to do with her children. I guess she's going to be sued for libel or something as a part of this storyline, but if I were Lulu, I wouldn't worry too much — she conducted an interview and handed in a story she'd written about it, but it was really on the Invader's editorial and legal staff to do their due diligence, verify the legality of the various allegations, and shove her back out in the field to get comments from Drew and Willow. She shouldn't need much of a lawyer at all.
Chase: The dumbest man alive. We knew he was headed for a fall as soon as he decided to investigate Willow's case on his off hours, but not even being demoted to beat cop for his foolishness has been enough to deter Officer Chase from defending his ex-wife at all costs. Upon hearing about Lulu's interview with Sidwell — from Tracy, who couldn't wait to text him the news — Chase immediately decided the story was a Quartermaine frame job, and he absolutely refuses to shut up about it. While one would certainly hope that Willow's smart enough to talk Chase out of making an even bigger deal about this, either way, he's overdue for what will have to rank as one of the most savage public embarrassments in the history of Port Charles. He is a doofus, and he will have earned it.
- Whoever is designing the Invader needs to be fired immediately and replaced with someone who understands that a news article is a lot easier to read when it's more than a massive headline and giant gobs of text
- Serena and Jason were clumsily chem-tested with a largely offscreen escapade involving peregrine falcons that will probably lead them to at least getting close to finding Brennan's body
- Jason, who does not work with or for Sonny anymore, is trying to find Vito
- Yuri had multiple lines
- Brook Lynn spent most of the week in her tennis outfit
- After her request to change assignments was denied, Joss decided to use JJE's assets to "demolish Sonny Corinthos," which is totally not something Jax would have already tried to do about a thousand times
- Britt took three seconds and a handful of fries to figure out Willow is still hot for Chase
- Baines told Joss to audit JJE's activities in the Far East, which should but most likely does not mean we're getting Selina back
- Trina has the world's most casual stalker
- Turner and Sonny broke up or something
- Valentin shaved
- Felicia told Anna that Robert and Holly are coming for a visit before the end of the year
- Anna, who may never go even one week without crying, told Dr. Nichols that she's finally ready to shake off Faison's ghost because she almost killed Britt
- Alexis still has osteoporosis
- Dante told Danny he likes it better when Danny and Rocco are friends
- Emma and Gio decided to move in together
- Carly, who really has been strikingly mature lately, told Anna that it would be a favor to her and Valentin if Anna would let Valentin help her through her trauma
- Rocco overheard Drew threaten Alexis and Molly with boarding school for Scout
- Curtis urged Jordan to go to Baden Baden and have her face fixed
- Portia returned from maternity leave
- After convincing Curtis to hire her, Monet told him Jordan is her sister; shortly thereafter, Stella smelled a rat and shooed Monet away
- Sonny told Gio that everyone doubting him is the price he has to pay for the life he's lived, which is the truest thing Sonny's ever said
- Gio moved out of Sonny's house with everything he owns in a single rolling suitcase, except for the tambourine he left Donna as a parting gift
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