One of the big points that a lot of longtime soap fans have stressed over the last 25 years or so is that as fun as "big event" stories can be when they're done right, they'll never be the fuel that truly drives a daytime drama. All the explosions and location shoots in the world can't cover for the fact that this is a dialogue-driven medium that depends entirely on characters the audience cares about. If you've got that, then a simple conversation can be far more interesting than a gunfight — especially if the audience can tell the gunfight is happening because someone behind the scenes decided it was time for some excitement. Fairly often, these big events end up ringing hollow.
Speaking of which, Port Charles had the storm of the century last week. It was pretty dull!
I have to stress that there's nothing wrong with the core concept behind the storm, which came down to clustering characters and having them shelter in place while they waited out the weather. This type of forced gathering can lead to real narrative breakthroughs, which is why soap characters are constantly getting stuck together on elevators or stranded in conveniently located cabins. The problem is what the writers decided to do with these characters once they were paired off, which generally wasn't much. We had a couple first kisses and some light espionage, sure, but for the most part, last week was devoted to characters talking about stuff they'd already talked about before.
This is part of a pattern for General Hospital, at least in recent years. For whatever reason, the show seems to be frightened of its own momentum; whenever we get a burst of satisfying narrative development, the writers slam the brakes. It's like being in a car with someone who's learning to drive a stick shift. After all the excitement of Willow being revealed as Drew's shooter — and then plunging a hypodermic needle into his neck — I anticipated a dose of doldrums. For the writers to parcel out yawns during a major weather event, though? A boldly boring choice. Let's break it down by location, shall we?
Wyndemere
Here's where most of the action happened — mainly due to Joss, who saw the weather forecast and hatched a plan to knock out power to Spoon Island so she could sneak into the mansion and go snooping around. This led to yet another boring argument with Brennan, who admitted it wasn't a bad idea but insisted she couldn't be the one to carry it out; naturally, she ignored him and did it anyway, but only after eavesdropping on a conversation between Brennan and Cullum that included Brennan saying he was only dating Carly in order to get information out of her.
(This conversation sparked enough social media outrage that Chris L. McKenna was moved to come to Brennan's defense, insisting that what he told Cullum was obviously a lie. I find it fascinating that anyone cares enough about the Carly/Brennan pairing to be interested either way, but to each their own.)
After getting some help from Brick, who remains annoying, Joss sneaked out to a power substation with a bomb, then used her WSB-issued night binoculars to scope out Wyndemere — which apparently had a hideous makeover when we weren't looking — as the lights went out.
Meanwhile, on the island, Sidwell was playing host to Ava, who he invited out for the evening after she told him Sonny warned her to stay away from him. This is a warning Sonny issued purely because he knew it would push Ava and Sidwell closer together, making Lucy jealous and causing a distraction for Sidwell. It's Sonny and Jason's big plan to take Sidwell down. If it was still 1990, I might be interested in watching this play out, but Lucy appears like ten times a year, and five of those appearances happen during the Nurses' Ball, so I doubt the love triangle gambit will amount to anything at all.
Also on the island: Marco and Britt, who were in the midst of a heated argument when Lucas bopped in, just in time to hear her yell that she just wanted all this to be over. Naturally, he wanted to know what was going on, which forced Britt to think fast and come up with a cover story about being hired as Sidwell's concierge doctor. After pretending to give Marco a checkup, she managed to talk her way out, over Sidwell's objections — and moments later, when the power went out, everyone else left the island too.
Well, almost everyone, anyway.
Anna stayed behind, of course, although we didn't see her after Tuesday — a day she spent blubbering while "Faison" taunted her through the one-way mirror on the wall of her cell. This encounter ended with the lights flickering, the door opening, and Anna yelling "No!" as she was confronted by someone we only saw from behind, and only long enough to tell they were wearing an extremely chintzy wig that was supposed to look like Faison's hair.
It certainly looked like Joss was being positioned to find Anna, which might have made me toss my television into the street, but instead, her Wyndemere visit took a detour when she realized Cullum was there. She pretended she'd come by because she'd been on her way to a party at "a nearby island" when the storm hit, he pretended to be a caretaker named Matthew, and they spent the rest of the week sipping brandy, playing chess, and having the sort of spy talk that's supposed to seem like casual chit-chat but is loaded with phrases like "you aren't the person you pretend to be."
The one little bit of motion here took place toward the end of Friday's episode, when Cullum left the room long enough for Joss to go through his jacket, where she found a pack of cigarillos and a copy of The Crystalline Conspiracy. He caught her, of course, at which point she pretended she'd picked up the jacket because she was cold, even though she was sitting by a fire while wearing a parka. She asked if she could read the book, he said sure, and they spent the rest of the episode sitting in silence while Joss read and Cullum stared at her.
The clear implication here is that Cullum is Faison. I don't know if that's where this story is actually heading, but if it is, we're definitely in for more than a few unintentionally hilarious moments; it's one thing to pipe Anders Hove's voice in through a speaker on a wall, but as soon as they try to dub it over Andrew Hawkes' dialogue, this whole thing will fly completely off the rails. I think it's more likely that the writers are just trying to tease this out as long as possible, making us wonder whether Faison's somehow still with us before revealing the truth. By the time they do, will we care? Is there any way this can play out that'll justify the amount of time it's taken to get here? Anything is possible, but I have my doubts.
Britt and Jason's Love Shack
After fleeing the island, Britt ran into trouble on the water and nearly froze to death; fortunately for her, she was being followed by Jason, who carried her off to a house or cabin or something that I'm not sure was ever clearly explained or identified. This was what it finally took for her to open up to him, and she spent the rest of the week explaining who she was working for and why. He vowed to help her break free from Cullum and Sidwell, and also promised to have someone reverse-engineer her medication — but in the meantime, they agreed that no one could know they were together. Determined to make the most of their only night (for now), they had sexytime by the fire.
I'm one of the seemingly few people who doesn't really mind Jason and Britt as a couple, at least in theory. I really kind of enjoyed them together before he married Carly. I also agree, though, that their arc since her return has been pitifully lame, and at this point, it's hard to have much invested in whether they work out. What they're going through is a classic soap setup, and it's supposed to make us root for them to be together, but I don't feel anything at all.
Anna's Apartment
Gio and Emma offered to help Tracy sneak into Drew's house and take back the Quartermaine heirlooms, but they couldn't make it through the storm, so they hunkered down together and kept each other warm. They're still cute and fun to watch, and I hope the writers are getting ready to do the sensible thing and give them some sort of adventure; in fact, I thought I might have recognized the glimmer of a possibility in that direction when Tracy told Gio she wanted him to have a painting Edward picked up in the Bahamas while he was pretending to be dead in the early '90s. There could be a message hidden in the artwork, or maybe someone drops the painting and an envelope containing a Q-related secret falls out, or… well, you get the idea. And since art's involved, it wouldn't take much to get Trina and Ava pulled into the story too. It practically writes itself!
Joss and Trina's Apartment
Portia showed up unannounced to try and force Trina to talk to her. They argued. We got a Taggert mention, which was nice; other than that, this was all stuff we've heard before.
The Gatehouse
Charlotte's police escort was pulled due to the storm, so she took advantage of the situation by dashing off to the Quartermaine mansion, where Danny agreed to go with her to Carly's place so she could see Valentin again. They only made it as far as the gatehouse, where they ducked in for s'mores and a smooch.
Viewers who know their Cassadine family trees were pretty grossed out by this. I had to puzzle it out in my head for a few minutes, because I couldn't remember whether Alexis and Valentin are actually related by blood, but that's just because I'd totally forgotten that Victor was Valentin's father. Anyway, yeah, Danny and Charlotte are cousins, and choosing to have them kiss is weird, and also salt in the wound for Jake fans who saw the potential in the pairing that was briefly seen developing between them. It's that last bit that really stinks, in my opinion; there's a lot more drama to be mined in the idea of a Cassadine getting romantically involved with someone who was held captive and programmed by Helena, and I don't know why you'd leave that on the table. Asher Antonyzyn is growing into a solid performer, and I'd be happy to see the writers give Danny more to do, but I can't understand why they opted for this.
The Bad Jen Café
When Charlotte ran off, ostensibly to check on her horse Butterscotch, Lulu flew into a tizzy and enlisted Nathan to help find her. Like daughter, like mother: Just as Charlotte and Danny had to take shelter and ended up locking lips, Lulu and Nathan ended up doing the same thing. After driving into a ditch, Nathan picked the lock at the Bad Jen Café, where he and Lulu spent the night drinking and playing "two truths and a lie" before taking their weekslong chem test to the next level.
We all knew this was going to happen eventually, and it's sincerely to the writers' credit that they found a way to do it before they dragged things out too long for it to matter. It'll be a minute before it happens again, though; Lulu immediately freaked out, saying Maxie would be hurt if she knew Lulu had feelings for Nathan, and Nathan realized that Dante probably wouldn't be super thrilled either, so they agreed to leave it alone. There's no way that'll happen, of course, and with Kirsten Storms' imminent return, I'm sure we'll see things heat back up sooner than later. Which is fine, I guess; I don't mind Lulu and Nathan together. Mostly, though, I want someone — anyone — in Port Charles to make an honest effort to figure out where the hell Nathan's been for the last seven years. If a looming love triangle is what it takes for that to happen, so be it.
Greystone Manor
When she heard about Charlotte's disappearance, Carly made a beeline for her attic, where she told Valentin that his daughter had to be on her way over. This caused consternation for Valentin for numerous reasons, not the least of which was the weather, and he immediately decided he needed to head out into the storm and find her. After an hour of arguing over whether he should or shouldn't go, he finally bundled up in one of Carly's spare coats, accepted her offer of a flashlight and handwarmers, and trudged out into the snow… only to be back in virtually the next scene, freezing and gripped with self-loathing over not being able to make it past the treeline.
All standard stuff. But it did lead to Carly pouring them a couple of drinks by the fire, where they chatted about how each of them is beginning to see the other in a new light. After watching these scenes, I don't think there's any question as to whether the writers are testing a Carly/Valentin pairing, and my position remains the same: As long as things stay light and quippy between them for a good long while, I'm looking forward to watching the fallout. The people of Port Charles are going to HATE this.
For now, however, Carly remains committed to faking feelings for Brennan, which proved inconvenient when he stopped by to check on her during the storm. Valentin had to hustle off to his makeshift bed in the attic, presumably wishing he'd thought to pack a pair of headphones so he could drown out the sounds of Carly and Brennan making love by the fire.
Drew's House
With Drew in the hospital and Willow staying at Nina's, Tracy spotted a golden opportunity to take her stuff back, and booked a moving company to meet her at his temporarily vacant home. (In a perfectly Tracy touch, we learned that she'd pilfered Scout's key and had a copy made.) When the movers backed out due to the snow, she headed over herself — and instead of being met by Gio and Emma, she found herself faced with the unwelcome sight of a popcorn-munching Martin, who's housesitting while the congressman heals up.
Like Wubs said in her column, throwing these two together wasn't a bad idea, and it started off promisingly enough, but after a few minutes, the whole thing lapsed back into the same tired argument we've seen them have countless times before. I admit that the conversation eventually took them to a (somewhat) new place, as Martin opened up about his long grudge against Tracy for splitting up his relationship with Lucy, and Tracy (abrasively) counseled him in affairs of the heart. I also love both actors, and think their characters bring something unique to the canvas; ultimately, any scene carried by Jane Elliot and/or Michael E. Knight can't be that bad. I just don't think the writers know what they want to do with a Martin/Tracy combo. The Sigmund reference was funny, and so was Tracy emptying Martin's bourbon from her family decanter and pouring it in Scout's thermos, but… now what?
(I ask that question while fully prepared to see the two of them to wake up in bed together next week. I think this would be a mistake, mostly because Knight isn't on the show often enough to be part of any pairing that matters, but I can absolutely see the writers going there.)
The Stables
Last and also least, we have Molly and Cody at the Quartermaine stables. In my contributions to our 2025 Best & Worst column, I said it was tough for me to choose between these two or Gio and Emma for my favorite couple of the year, and noted that I settled on the latter two because they hadn't made us sit through a lot of contrived crap before they got together. When I wrote that, I foolishly believed Molly and Cody were done with that stuff, at least for a while; sadly, last week proved me wrong.
I can't for the life of me understand why, but the writers have convinced themselves that the key to the audience caring about this couple lies in making them act like they're in middle school. I don't have any problem with obstacles being thrown in front of Molly and Cody — that's the stuff soap couples are made of — but it's bizarre bordering on insulting to our intelligence that they're constantly on the verge of never speaking to one another again over things that no self-respecting adult would give a second thought. Recently, Cody was convinced it was all over between them because he told James that Molly was his girlfriend, but Molly said she wasn't, which is the type of conflict that should happen during a Sadie Hawkins dance; last week, their big issue was that Cody read the first bit of Molly's book, realized he inspired the oafish main character, and decided to sleep with the horses in a fit of pique.
Molly responded to this tantrum by pointing out that he wouldn't have known what happened in her book if he hadn't read it without her permission, and also that she started writing it before the two of them even got to know each other. Both perfectly reasonable things to say! She also asked him to consider the question of why she'd be with him in the first place if she really thought he was dumb; again, a very rational response to irrational behavior. But no, Cody still decided he'd rather sulk on a saddle than come back to bed.
Again, all of this is baffling to me. There have got to be better ways of drumming up drama between these two. Failure to do so will quickly ruin a couple with the sort of light, easy chemistry that doesn't come along very often — and which GH sorely needs.
Okay, enough of my rambling. Bullet time!
- Sidwell offered to help Carly fix things with Lucas, and started by inviting her to Wyndemere — an invitation that Lucas reacted to by warning Sidwell he had no idea how much crazy he'd be bringing into his home
Marco tried to backchannel his dad by having a secret meeting with Cullum and urging him to have Sonny killed
Charlotte realized that Nina's working with Brennan to get information about Valentin out of her, and she is super pissed
- Brick told Sonny that the attempts on his life (remember those?) came from someone at the WSB
Nathan knows the periodic table by heart
Portia stubbed her toe
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