The current season of HBO's Industry — which is a rabidly engrossing drama that you should be watching, especially if you have a high tolerance for pretty people doing ugly things — features a character who achieves his business goals through subterfuge and blackmail. Everyone is a tool to this guy, and once he figures out how he can use someone, he lures them in with big promises, irreparably compromising them while they're too distracted to notice.
I thought about this guy when I sat down to write this edition of Critical Diagnosis because last week was basically all about Sidwell — specifically, the way he's spent the last year or so getting his hooks into a growing list of people across Port Charles, and now he's letting them know they have no choice but to do his bidding. I'm sure this means he'll end up dead (or "dead") within a year, but for now, it just means we have ourselves a good old-fashioned umbrella story. If something's happening on the show right now, there's a really good chance Sidwell has his hands in it — and that might even include the budding romance between Nathan and Lulu. Let's run down the list, shall we?
Anna in Paris
Anna's breakdown was induced by Sidwell and Cullum, she ended up in France at Sidwell's direction with an assist from Pascal, and in France she remains, locked away offscreen at the clinic where she was sent after assaulting a police officer. Emma returned home this week, telling Gio that she and Robin flew out to see Anna, but they weren't allowed to visit; instead, they could only watch her peacefully puttering around the garden.
I continue to be annoyed that Anna was cleared off the board so easily, and the weird way they're telling her portion of the story seems to lend credence to the rumors that something's going on with Finola Hughes in real life. It'll be interesting to see how the writers solve for what they've done with Anna, but in the short term, her trauma has brought Emma and Gio closer, which is a net positive for the sweetest couple on the show. (Side note: It was interesting to hear Emma say "Noah flew home from school" when he heard the news about Anna; canonically, the kid is only eight years old, but perhaps we're being prepared to meet a SORASed version.)
Investigations into Anna's well being were definitely far on the back burner last week. We saw Joss for a few minutes, having a strange conversation that found her offering Gio a copy of The Crystalline Conspiracy because she thought "it might be helpful for Anna's treatment." To his credit, Gio thought this was a horrible idea and refused to take it. That was basically it — Brennan and Dante's recent teamup hasn't led anywhere, and as for Jason? He's thoroughly focused on Britt.
Lucas with the Lid Off
With Jason headed for a hiatus, Anna drooling on her sleeve in Paris, and the PCPD continually prevented from solving a single investigation, it falls to our man Lucas to save the day. I like this development for numerous reasons, not the least of them a growing fondness for Van Hansis and a surprised appreciation for whoever decided it was time to let a queer character be a hero. Of course, there's always the not-so-small matter of Lucas having no idea what he's doing in a situation like this, which can and likely will lead to him ending up in dire straits, but for now, I'm really enjoying watching him in take-charge mode.
That being said, it's too bad that Lucas only got here by joining the "We Must Save Britt" brigade. It makes perfect sense that he'd refuse to leave Wyndemere until he knows she's safe, just because he's a deeply principled man who was raised right by Tony and Bobbie, but his willingness to let Sidwell and Marco finish their mysterious project — which he tried and failed to get Marco to tell him more about last week — is a little bit of a sore spot for me. I mean, Lucas is a smart guy; it shouldn't take much thought for him to realize that whatever Sidwell is up to has to be dangerous. But instead of worrying about the wider implications — like, at all — he's content to protect Sonny and Britt? Two people he doesn't much like?
Well, whatever. Lucas' main focus at the moment is finding a way to steal some of Britt's medication so it can be reverse-engineered, with the aid of a reluctant Marco. What the writers want us to be wondering right now is whether Marco is truly loyal to Lucas, and whether they'll be able to pull off their little heist without being caught by Pascal (or someone worse). What we should be asking is why in the hell Britt didn't reverse-engineer this medicine her damn self during all those months when she was being given a week's worth of doses at a time. I mean, if she can figure out cold fusion, she should be able to do anything, right?
Fortunately for the sake of this interminable storyline, Britt is running out of time. Although Cullum is pleased with her progress, he and Sidwell have both started making noise about having her build "a working prototype," emphasis on the working. The threat is that if she builds something that doesn't do what it's supposed to, they'll just kill her — which seems like a dumb waste of years of research, but since Britt is obviously the type of person who'll do anything when she's threatened with death, it's effective anyway.
Marco thinks Lucas' plan could get all three of them killed, and Britt would rather dope Pascal with sodium pentathol for reasons I'm not sure I entirely understand. Jason, meanwhile, seems perfectly happy to let Lucas take the lead — presumably so he can focus on Cullum, who he's rightly identified as the true threat. As he told Sonny, while Sidwell is definitely dangerous, he's also got a big ego and he's easily distracted; Cullum, on the other hand, appears to be all business. Jason reached this conclusion after being summoned to Brennan's office by Cullum, so Cullum could conduct an extremely belated debrief regarding the events at the goddamn Five Poppies. It was a meaningless conversation that included no new information, but it did leave Jason convinced that killing Cullum is Job Number One — which means it'll probably be a long time before it gets done.
Before speaking with Cullum, Jason had a brief exchange with Brennan, who admitted he'd made a mistake by recruiting Joss into the WSB. I choose to believe Brennan was speaking for the writers there, especially given how little Joss has had to do over the last few weeks; it really seems like someone up the chain saw how badly her storyline was going and decided to pull the plug. She'll need to stay in the Bureau for at least a little while, though, because her WSB status is what's motivating Carly to join forces with Valentin to take him down, and we need that to continue at least long enough to get Valentin out of that stupid attic.
Spixie Triumphant
I'll get right to the point, because the writers did: After reuniting with Nathan at his empty grave, Maxie went straight home and told Spinelli that while Nathan is a big part of her past, her future is with him. These were sweet scenes between characters with a long history, and it's the only resolution that really makes sense; I'm surprised that they reached this conclusion with so little dithering, but maybe it all came down to actor availability. Bradford Anderson is extremely part-time, Kirsten Storms is commuting from Tennessee now, and a reunion with Maxie clearly isn't part of the reason the show had for bringing Nathan back.
So… why is Nathan back? The short answer is that we still have no idea. After seeing Maxie, he met with Lulu, who was stunned to hear that he and Maxie weren't getting back together. While he admitted he would have "honored" her decision if she'd chosen him — out of "loyalty and respect" for their marriage — what he really wants now is to be with Lulu, and after a couple extra days of hemming and hawing, she agreed that they should give it a shot, after one of them tells Maxie.
The only one who seems supremely displeased about all this is Obrecht, who tried harassing Nathan into fighting for Maxie, only to be quickly and loudly shut down. Nathan immediately apologized for snapping at her, but it was still enough for her to march into Britt's office and tell her that Nathan wasn't acting like himself. Clang, clang, clang go the anvils!
Since he returned with zero memory of the last seven years and no particular apparent interest in figuring out where he's been, viewers have speculated that the Nathan we're seeing is some sort of imposter. Now that he's so horny for Lulu, one of the more appealingly strange theories is that he was somehow implanted with Stavros' consciousness, which makes about as much sense as any other path the writers could use to bivouac their way out of the shapeless tangle of half-baked ideas they've assembled. I have no idea what they're planning, but it seems very likely that wherever Nathan's been and whatever he was doing while he was away, Sidwell had something to do with it.
Sidwell also isn't done with Maxie. It's only been like three days since she left the hospital, but she's already back at work at Deception; she returned to her office last week and found Lucy, who quickly filled her in on the terrible tumble their stock took after she collapsed on live television. None too pleased that Sidwell took a controlling interest in the company while bailing them out, she summoned him to the office to tell him it was time to talk about his "exit strategy" — a suggestion he deflected in his typical Sidwell way, which is to say he responded with a combination of abject flattery and implied threats. Recognizing she wouldn't be able to talk him out of tearing up a five-year contract, she cheerfully told him their conversation wasn't over, and the look on his face as he left suggested there might be further threats to her health on the horizon.
Congratulations, Congresswoman
The really big development of the week was, of course, the announcement of Drew's successor. As we discussed previously, the governor asked for Laura's input, and she was prepared to name Alexis; Sidwell, meanwhile, was busy courting Willow for the gig. You might recall that I thought this seemed like a weird choice for him; what I didn't know — and what many of us were surprised to learn last week — is that he wants her in Congress because he's added her to the list of people he's blackmailing.
We learned this in dramatic fashion. While Laura prepared for the press conference she'd scheduled to announce Alexis as her pick for Drew's recommended replacement, she was visited by Ezra, who told her Sidwell had decided she'd be announcing Willow instead. Understandably scoffing at this idea, she refused to go along; meanwhile, Willow received a visit from Sidwell, who was none too pleased when she told him she'd decided to take a grateful pass on his offer.
While Ezra pleaded with Laura to understand the scope of the danger she's in, Sidwell angrily reminded Willow that she was in no position to refuse him. Without ever coming out and saying what he was holding over her, she acknowledged she needed to play ball, but wondered why he wanted someone with no experience in Congress under duress, to which he replied that since she'd only have one constituent — him — her job would be pretty easy. As a bonus, it'd come with the type of power she'd be able to use to gain full custody of her kids forever.
Eventually, Willow had to leave with Nina to attend the press conference, which had been bumped up without Laura's knowledge or approval; when they walked out, Sidwell stayed behind for a little chat with Drew, who tried blinking SOS to let his old benefactor know something was wrong. Was this a surprise to Sidwell? Friends, you know it was not. Instead, Sidwell cheerfully informed Drew that not only was he already aware of everything that was going on, he'd helped orchestrate it.
Apparently, thanks to information from his informants at the PCPD, Sidwell was able to do the work of an entire police force and immediately suss out Willow's guilt, at which point he blackmailed her into administering Drew with the magic paralysis drug that's keeping him incapacitated. Explaining that Drew had become a thorn in his side, he outlined his plan to use Willow as a "more pliant" plant in Congress — and then made Drew watch as Laura, who'd experienced an offscreen change of heart after angrily insisting to Ezra that she wouldn't go along with Sidwell's plan, announced Willow as his successor.
Last week, I believed this whole thing would be more drawn out, and that it'd pit Alexis and Willow against one another, with Willow's freedom and Alexis' access to Scout hanging in the balance. Although I have no idea how it'll play out, I still think Alexis vs. Willow will be a significant part of whatever happens next — perhaps even ending with the two of them joining forces somehow. After Laura made her announcement, she visited an angry and embarrassed Alexis, who not-so-subtly assured her that Willow was far from the pushover she might appear to be; Willow, meanwhile, is wearing power suits now, and she told Nina that while "certain men" might think they could use her as a political pawn, she has her own agenda.
Alexis has historically (and recently!) shown her willingness to bend her upright morals when the ends justify the means. She's also very smart; as Sonny told Jason, she would have been a terrible pick for Laura to make, because it wouldn't take her long to figure out that Laura's working under Sidwell's thumb. So now that she has a personal interest in Willow's appointment, how long will it take her to realize something's fishy? And how long will it take Willow to crack enough under the pressure of doing Sidwell's bidding that she's willing to come clean? I'm not saying this will happen, but it very well could — and who knows? Maybe it could even lead us back to solving the mystery of why in the world Sidwell made such a point of returning Helena's dagger to Alexis.
In the meantime, as Sidwell told Marco, he intends to use Willow as one of their weapons of vengeance against Sonny. Given how much she hates Michael, how hard could it be to convince her to point the FBI at Sonny? I guess we're about to find out. Here's hoping they send someone more bulletproof than Jagger Cates.
My Son Saw You! You're Dirty!
Speaking of Michael, he earned himself a quick exit from the interrogation room at the PCPD thanks to Ric, who told an extremely unhappy Dante and Turner that Wiley saw Chase handling Michael's keys. Knowing that their chain of custody was blown, they told him he was free to go, so he went right home and socked Chase in the jaw. Dante got home fast enough to keep things from getting too far out of hand, and after Brook Lynn ushered her bleeding husband out of the room, he told Michael the PCPD would never be able to build a case against him now — which is just as well for Dante, who said he now believes Michael is innocent.
Chase, meanwhile, had to face the music with Brook Lynn, who questioned whether he truly understands the difference between justice and vigilanteism, and basically told him that if he wasn't able to pull his head out of his ass where Willow's concerned, they wouldn't be adopting a baby. After making a pissed puppy face for 20 minutes, he agreed to let it go and focus on their family.
The best part of the fallout from Michael's busted interrogation was the visit Ric paid to Alexis after he left the PCPD. Brushing aside her usual snark, he told her about what Chase had done, and when she questioned his motivations for helping Michael, he came brutally clean, explaining that the time he spent tied up in her basement gave him a lot of time to think about the type of legacy he was leaving behind. Never mind that Ric's dumb brother is even further overdue for this type of epiphany; the important thing for us right now is that Rick Hearst was outstanding in these scenes, displaying all the raw vulnerability and hard-fought emotional growth that makes Ric such a compelling character even after all the rotten stuff he's done.
Given that Hearst commutes to the set from New Jersey, and is no longer depending on acting for all of his income, I suspect the writers might not be fully committed to pursuing a full-on Ric/Elizabeth reunion — which might have everything to do with the way Dante and Elizabeth are currently being chem-tested. I only hope this doesn't end up with a brokenhearted Ric leaving Port Charles again; even on a part-time basis, he's a truly welcome addition to the show.
That'll just about do it for now. Until next time, here are your weekly bullets!
- In a scene so repulsive it bordered on Cronenbergian body horror, Sonny kissed Turner
- Wiley, who can clearly sense that the vibes are off at Uncle Drew's house, had a nightmare and told Willow he missed his room at the Quartermaine mansion
- Cody and Molly met at the Brown Dog so he could tell her how much he loves her book; in return, she smooched him, thus resetting the clock until their next embarrassingly childish conflict
- Sonny summoned Ric so he could tell him about kissing Turner, leading to the type of "but do you like like her?" conversation that both of them are at least 35 years too old to have
- Turner and Jordan talked about Turner and Sonny, and I cannot imagine how bored Tanisha Harper must be
- Lucas tried to warn Ava about Sidwell, but she brushed his warnings aside, saying she's dealt with her share of dangerous men, and besides, she really loves earning commission
- Diane is no longer in a wheelchair
- Isaiah visited Trina and gave her a stern talking-to, after which she immediately reconciled with Portia





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